You Sometimes Develop Insecurities From Your Peers

Why you should be careful with whom you spend your time with

Afroz Chakure
5 min readJun 25, 2023
Photo by Duy Pham on Unsplash

Below is an article on “Insecurities”, especially on those that we develop during our time at school, college, work and our daily interaction with others.

We human beings are ‘social animals’. We live and work in a society. But sometimes working closely with one another can become a problem for your mental health.

People tend to transfer their insecurities to you without you realizing. So let us begin with a short story.

My Friend at School

Photo by Jeswin Thomas on Unsplash

I had a friend who was better than most of my peers in school. He was both smart & hard-working and had amazing potential.

Although naturally talented, he always limited himself because of others. He had an amazing gift of learning new concepts without putting much effort and had great confidence & charisma when talking to people.

The only difference between him and other kids was that the guy had to stay & study in a hostel near school due to some personal family reasons.

Every teacher in school knew the guy could do a lot with his life, if only he paid attention to his studies and improved his behavior.

So what went wrong with him at school?

The Company You Keep Affects You, Deeply!

Photo by Matheus Ferrero on Unsplash

Although smart and naturally talented the guy had bad company of friends in Hostel & School.

Most of his room-mates hardly paid attention to what was being taught in class, didn’t have any higher goals and were always caught doing mischief in school.

His behavior started to match his peers as his stay in Hostel increased.

Whenever there were holidays in school, he would go back home and after coming back, would behave normally for a few days — but after that would again fall back to his bad behavior.

Show me your friends and I’ll tell you who you are

As said by motivational speaker Jim Rohn that, “We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with.”

If you look closely everyday in our lives we are influenced by our peers or media in some way or another. Sometimes people pass on their insecurities, fears, bad habits, self doubt, fixed mindset, etc. onto you without you knowing.

Photo by Jared Rice on Unsplash

You don’t notice these things because your sub-conscious mind is involved and it makes such decisions without involvement from your conscious mind.

Don’t limit yourself just because someone hates it!

People pass on opinions about you because deep down they feel insecure. Many people have hidden insecurities — this could be with yourself or their own education, lifestyle, success at work or life, way of dressing, eating and talking, etc!

These are the people who usually gossip about you, talk behind your back, repeatedly cut you off while speaking, raise their voice when talking to you, always giggle when they see you, spread false rumors about you in school, college, workplace, etc.

By limiting yourself because others around you don’t feel comfortable and are making fun of you for being yourself doesn’t help you in the long run.

Stop putting yourself down just to become more likable to others!

Just because Social Media platforms allows you to have an opinion on anything, doesn’t mean you should have one everywhere you go.

And don’t listen to every Tom, Dick and Harry that offers you “advice”.

It’s sad to see that some people try and get an upper-hand on others by pulling others down.

Some modern-day workplaces even encourage their Management to handle people who leave their organizations like this, which is truly cruel. Such people may get a giggle or laugh at what they do but they seldom have a good night’s sleep.

Things People say to you to get an upper-hand:

  1. “Your work doesn’t matter.” — Most popular one
  2. “Even new-joiners can do better work than you.”
  3. “I don’t like it when you ask me the same question repeatedly.”
  4. “Why do you leave so early? XYZ spends the entire day in office.”
  5. “You haven’t done anything special!”

You’ll find countless examples of people who despite earning millions of dollars their entire life feel incredibly insecure and unsure about themselves. The main culprits are their peers and support groups.

Why do People at School / College / Work drag others down?

Your Peers and Seniors keep making you feel Inferior, so that you lower your expectations from them and yourself.

Such expectations are in form of salary at work, success in life, appreciation from company, promotions, long-term career growth, etc.

There are a lot of people who take a lot of shit from friends, family, seniors, co-workers and management because of the fear that has been instilled into them.

Photo by Yeyo Salas on Unsplash

They are fearful to leave their friends, bad circumstances, peers and job because of the insecurity that has been developed over the years.


Never ever in your life give your right to choose to others!

You are the creator of your own destiny. Whatever may be the circumstances that life throws at you, never forget that you get to choose how you react to each situation.

By remembering you always have a choice to choose your circumstances, and actions in life you can defy limitations imposed by them.

Photo by Egor Myznik on Unsplash